You've Got Next

By Jon Bible

You pull into the lot and park your car. In an instant the head coach is outside your window, pointing and screaming. Then you remember why. His rant after last week’s game made all the papers. He thinks he got screwed and … now here you are.

So, what do you do when the coach is hot and the game hasn’t even started?

One of the stickiest situations that officials can face is entering a game with a coach who has publicly proclaimed that he or she got hosed by another crew or a particular official the week before. The coach knows going in that you’ve likely heard about the incident and will think you or your crew will show support for the other by giving a triple dose of what was delivered the week before.

The coach will also think that you’re thinking that he or she is thinking evil and paranoid thoughts about you, and that you’ll react to the first question or comment by declaring war. You may in fact be thinking some or all of the above, so you’ll think he or she is unfairly taking out last week’s frustrations on you.

How do you deal with that scenario in which you are, at best, wary of each other and walking on eggshells and, at worst, almost in open combat from the get-go? There’s no perfect solution, but there are some ways to make the best of what has the potential to be a bad situation.

When Last Week’s Crew or Official Was Involved

When the coach is mad at someone else, you have two main premises, and everything you say or do is ultimately geared toward them. First, you don’t want history lessons before or during games you work; that is, you don’t want to hear about who did what last week or, for that matter, several plays ago. The old adage “each day is a new day” should be applied and you should expect coaches, players, administrators and others to take the same position.

The second premise is to make it clear you will not listen to coaches talk badly about fellow officials. To do so is unethical, unprofessional and just plain wrong. The problem, of course, is that sometimes the folks on the other side are not singing from the same song sheet. It soon becomes apparent that they are going to say something before the game come hell or high water, and/or take their frustrations out on you during the game by making accusations about your motives.

Your first task is to take care of the officials working with you that day. Then worry about coaches. Although you need to remember you’re dealing with adults, you will not ignore the elephant in the room by saying nothing. Instead make it clear in your meeting with the coach that what went on before is old news and that you must approach this game as you would any other, with the same intensity, focus and professionalism that you try to exhibit in every game. Stress that you cannot react any differently to things that the coach might do or say than you normally would — in other words, you can’t react more quickly or harshly. But by the same token you can’t cut them any extra slack.

When another crew or official is involved, you need to be even more adamant about not having a history class than you would be if the coach was mad at you. Too many officials try to pacify coaches and curry favor by listening to them gripe about how horrible so-and-so was — or worse, agreeing with them. Don’t be one of those.

If the coach wants to bring up last week’s incident, say something like, “Coach, with all due respect, that didn’t involve anyone working this game. Let’s focus on today, and we’ll give you the best job we can.”

There’s no list of magic words to use, because every situation is unique. But by trying to be polite, stressing the positive aspects of steering clear of last week and focusing on today, you have a better chance of success. Steer clear of that kind of criticism, no matter what you have to do or say to get the conversation redirected.

If the coach insists on pushing the issue, you have to get firm. Even if that means the coach gets mad at you and perhaps, down the road, doesn’t want to use you again. If that happens, so be it. There will always be other places you can work. Respected officials take a red-line before they’ll pacify a coach by listening to him or her vent about what other officials did on another day.

The bottom line is: Business as usual. Realize that’s sometimes easier said than done, but if you can’t set your mind to take that approach, maybe you don’t belong in the business.

If the Coach Doesn’t Broach the Topic

There will be occasions when the coach will say nothing about the previous event. In those cases it’s best to let a sleeping dog lie, even if the coach’s body language tells you that he or she is seething. Some might argue that raising the issue can be a good, clear-the-air preemptive strike. That’s an option, but to bring up a coach’s public airing out of last week’s crew or official when the coach hasn’t done so is guaranteed to produce harm. Besides, what can you really say? “Coach, I know you’re ticked off over what happened last week, but please remember it wasn’t us”? There aren’t a lot of words or tones of voice calculated to yield a positive result. At the very least, that approach sends the message that the topic is at the forefront of your mind, and while it may be, you will derive no benefit from the coach knowing that. At worst, it sounds like groveling. If the coach leaves it alone, so should you.

If the Coach Brings Up Last Week Today

References during the game to the previous event should not be tolerated. Comments such as, “Are you guys trying to screw me worse than I was screwed last week?” are attacks on your integrity. Let the coach know, in no uncertain terms, you’re not going to travel that road. Try not to “pile on” a coach after another official has done so. But do it in an unusual circumstance.

Although you don’t want to cause a big stir, you cannot allow yourself or your crew be the victims of such attacks. You might not throw a flag, call a technical or resort to an ejection the first comment out of the chute. But by communicating as positively and professionally as possible, you will get the message across and the comments may well stop.

The same holds true if the opposing coach implies you are trying to “even things up” for the aggrieved coach by favoring that team. Common comments include, “Are you trying to kiss his (or her) rear after last week?” During an opportune time, sidle over and say something like, “Coach, I’m sure you like to think of yourself as a professional. So do we. We don’t do business that way.”

If that doesn’t work, you’ve no choice but to get firmer. The bottom line is you cannot tolerate such behavior.

When You Were the Object of the Coach’s Wrath

How do you handle a situation in which the coach went ballistic the last time you or your crew had his or her team? Your reaction might depend on whether or not you blew the call.

If you find out that you made a mistake the last time you worked that coach’s game, give him or her a chance to vent during whatever pregame meeting you have with the coach. That should be done as long as it’s a private affair involving the concerned parties and there is no carryover to the field or court. Go in to that meeting thinking that he or she should be allowed that venting. If it happens before the game and you get it over with, you might be able to move on and have a good game.

Give the coach a chance to get rid of the venom. When the coach broaches the topic, you can say, “You’re absolutely right. You got it stuck straight up your backside that day. Now, I could give you a lot of excuses about what happened and what’s been done to fix it, but you don’t want that. You’ve been waiting for two weeks to rip me apart, so go for it. Say whatever you want — no holds barred.”

There will probably be some other back-and-forth, but an acknowledgment will likely disarm him or her and defuse things. You can at least start the game with a clean slate. And don’t be shocked if the coach doesn’t take you up on your invitation to let loose.

If you think you didn’t screw up, try to head him or her off, such as “Coach, I think everyone will be better off if we don’t go down that road. That game is over and we need to focus on today.”

The exact words will depend on the situation. But in the end you want to, as tactfully as possible, get the coach to turn the page. If necessary, you can remind the coach that if he or she feels that strongly, there are channels through which to register that discontent.

The End Game

Assigners and supervisors continually, and properly, stress the need for officials to be approachable, communicative, nonconfrontational and the like. But in the end, those attitudes must take a back seat when it comes to impromptu history lessons from coaches. While you will do everything possible to tactfully redirect conversations that are going down the wrong path, standing firm in the face of attacks on your integrity is a must.

Jon Bible is from Austin, Texas. He is a referee in the Big 12 Conference and worked the 2008 BCS national championship football game. He is also a veteran college baseball umpire and has worked six NCAA Division I College World Series.