With an unmatched resumé of soccer officiating accomplishments, Kari Seitz retired as the most decorated international referee in U.S. Soccer history. From a young age, she showed the grit and determination to achieve success.
The Final Match and an Unexpected Wave of Emotion
As the tsunami of emotions washed over Kari Seitz within the confines of San Antonio’s Alamodome that October 2013 afternoon, her lips tightened into a helpless frown and her green eyes moistened with uncharacteristic emotion. Her 28 years as a soccer official had dwindled to a final match and damned if Seitz wasn’t finally losing it within the environment of her sheer mastery.
When more than 19,000 fans were directed during a brief prematch ceremony to turn their attention to someone who made a career of rarely being noticed, the field announcer outlined the peak of her Mount Everest career. Four FIFA Women’s World Cups. One World Championship. Three Olympic Games. Working confederation tournaments in CONCACAF, Europe and Asia among so many other milestones. For just those few seconds, she was elevated for fans into the true giant her officiating peers had long known. And as the most decorated international official in soccer history stoically stood on the sideline, the appreciative crowd rose for an ovation as Seitz sensed her iron will was in a full meltdown.
“As a player or a coach, you expect acknowledgment. As a referee, you don’t.”
Kari Seitz
For most of her nearly 43 years on this planet, Seitz, who lives in Mill Valley, Calif., was someone with a drive and purpose who demanded — not just expected — personal achievement. There was never much time for sentiment. But with her emotional safety net unexpectedly lowered during the ceremony, Seitz teetered ever so precariously on her high wire until she lost her balance. For maybe the first time since she was a novice 14-year-old official with no clue while making her debut in a youth game in Brighton, Mich., Seitz felt helpless within the confines of a soccer venue.
“I was really willing to see where my emotions went,” Seitz said. “I wasn’t sure if I would be stoic or I would cry or what would happen. There’s a moment when I was captured on film breaking down just for a small period of time and letting my emotions be seen and it was the moment when the spectators were told about my accomplishments and there was a standing ovation. That’s not something you get when you’re a referee and that’s when I broke down and thought, ‘Holy crap, this was a lot,’ and I really appreciated the acknowledgement.
“As a player or a coach, you expect acknowledgment. As a referee, you don’t. And when it happened, I was a little beside myself.”
Greats Don’t Take a Day Off
And then, for one final time, a woman who might be described as the Pelé of soccer officials trotted onto the field and effortlessly blended into the action to work the U.S. Women’s National Team’s friendly against Australia. She might have allowed her emotional mudslide to extend into her final career assignment and simply go through the motions just that one time, but that’s not what Seitz is all about.
Greats of their profession, quite simply, never take a day off. Instead, they reach back for something extra.
“We definitely all sensed that there was something special about Kari’s last game,” said fellow official Marlene Duffy, a FIFA assistant referee who worked with Seitz at two Olympic Games and one World Cup. “It may sound dramatic, but it felt like the end of an era almost.”
It was the end of an era. And Seitz was coming to terms with that reality.
Walking Away While Still at Peak Efficiency
Less than two weeks prior to her 43rd birthday that afternoon, Seitz’s mental and physical prowess had long ago intersected to an extent that she was officiating at peak efficiency. But officials working international matches face a mandatory retirement age of 45 — making Seitz ineligible to work the 2015 World Cup even though she will still be 44 during the competition, because she turns 45 that year. And she was being forced to say farewell when she still had the relentless drive that has long defined her.
As the U.S. took charge of a match it won, 4-0, Seitz recalls taking a steady succession of mental snapshots. Duffy framed an image in her mind that day — Seitz standing at an Alamodome tunnel after the game with the backdrop of an empty stadium, “after showing us one last time why she was such a great referee,” Duffy said.
It was a fitting coda to a vintage career as Seitz prepared to walk away at the peak of her powers.
“When you walk out and they’re playing the FIFA anthem, it gives you a certain amount of pride.”
Kari Seitz
“I was really uncertain how I was going to respond so I just focused on it in many ways like it was just another match,” Seitz said. “Yet at the same time, what I wanted to do was savor the things that made me proud and what I enjoyed about being an official.
“When you walk out and they’re playing the FIFA anthem, it gives you a certain amount of pride. When you hear the teams’ anthems and the crowd cheering, you’re standing before the match with the sense of being part of something bigger than sports. … I remembered my very first international match and I wanted to have that same snapshot in my final match.”
The Next Chapter: Work, Speed, and Teaching the Next Generation
As Seitz makes the daunting transition out of something she did so well for so long, she will continue pouring herself into her position as a managing director in San Francisco for OMD Worldwide, a New York-based advertising agency. She will feel no guilt satisfying her craving for ice cream at the nearest Dairy Queen. She will fulfill her desire for speed by riding fast motorcycles and pursuing bicycle racing. She will plan just the second vacation longer than a weekend with Glen VarnHagen, her husband of 21 years, instead of reserving her time off for another soccer assignment.
“He was willing to give up our time together so he could see me on the field and be proud,” Seitz said.
Now as a FIFA instructor, she will eventually become a teacher for a new breed of officials, fulfilling one of her passionate desires to serve as a role model for the up-and-comers.
“Kari took all the things that people consider extra effort — diligence and preparation for an important match — and quietly made them her routine,” said Sandra Serafini, a retired FIFA referee who is referee director of the National Women’s Soccer League. “She enjoyed the moment and then used it as preparation for the match coming up. A World Championship, four World Cups, three Olympics and countless professional league matches and finals were the result of that routine and approach. And all were without expectation of recognition, but with utmost humility, just for the internal satisfaction of being the best.”
Records, Leagues, and the Reputation of a Relentless Worker
And that’s exactly what Seitz was.
She holds the record for the most World Cup appearances, male or female, and she worked the highest-level World Cup game of any American — the third-place match in 2011. In addition, Seitz officiated MLS, Women’s United Soccer Association, Women’s Professional Soccer and the National Women’s Soccer League matches.
“Kari is one of the hardest workers I’ve ever met on or off the field.”
Marlene Duffy
“Kari is one of the hardest workers I’ve ever met on or off the field,” Duffy said. “Whenever obstacles were put in her way, she always found a way around them. Some people would use them as an excuse, as a reason why they couldn’t succeed. Kari’s strength of character kept her going at the top of the officiating world for years despite all the setbacks.”
As for VarnHagen, sheer pride more than compensated for any neglect he may have felt while his wife was achieving excellence.
“I don’t know how to fully express how proud I am of Kari,” he said. “When she walked on the field for her first World Cup match in ’99, I couldn’t help but let the emotions overcome me. Watching her confidently promenade onto the field while the FIFA anthem played, I could relive that day forever.”
Early Independence and the Drive to Excel
There was something about Seitz that distinguished her from an early age.
Like when she spurned the clothes her mother, Jackie, had laid out for her first day of kindergarten, declaring, “I’m not going to wear a sissy dress to school!” Instead, Seitz had already picked out what she would wear.
Where she didn’t get her way was when she insisted on walking to school instead of taking the bus because she wanted to find her own way.
The inner drive that foreshadowed what she would accomplish as an official continued to reveal itself early in life. A little girl who used to dance in front of the TV almost as soon as she could stand decided to take up music in middle school. When the instructor asked who wanted to play the oboe, an especially challenging instrument, Kari’s arm shot up when she noticed no one else was volunteering.
“At that time, she had no idea what an oboe was or how difficult it was to play,” her father, Al Seitz, said. “If you know anything about wind instruments, you would know that the oboe is one of the most difficult to play. Driven to excel, Kari met the challenge and won several solo music awards and first chair in the high school symphony orchestra.”
Soccer, Officiating, and Being the Last One Standing
If Seitz was destined to make beautiful music once she mastered the oboe, she was destined to make history once she crossed paths with soccer.
That circumstance occurred when she didn’t find gymnastics to her liking and decided to pursue soccer instead.
She was one of 14 girls who signed up for what became the first girls’ traveling team from the Brighton community. The coach was Jack Wrosch and he had an expectation for his girls. Each was required to attend a soccer officiating program.
“There were two reasons,” Wrosch said. “First, I thought they could have a better appreciation of the game. Second, the in-house program needed referees and I thought the girls would do a good job in the under-eight and under-10 programs. They could be role models for the younger girls to look into soccer as their sports program.”
Admirable intentions, to be sure, but dismal results were in store.
“Everyone of us had to take this class,” Seitz said. “I think it was a two-day course and, within one season, almost everyone had dropped out of officiating. I was the last man standing pretty quickly as far as being an official.”
There was something within her that motivated her to stay the course. Wrosch noticed that certain something almost from the first time their paths crossed. She was a natural.
“Kari has the ability to tune out a crowd,” he said. “Even when she first started, she would not let comments from the crowd faze her. Kari would call the game as she saw it.”
Learning the Hard Way on the Field
So there Seitz was, at the age of 14, working her first match — an under-12 boys’ game. The masterful official she would one day be was a novice and it was all about survival for Seitz and two officials who felt similarly helpless.
“We looked at each other and said, ‘OK, what do we actually do?’” Seitz said. “I thought, ‘I can read the book and fill in the boxes, but where do I run? How do I check people in?’ … Nobody told us how to actually physically referee. That we had to figure out on our own. I would love to know how bad we looked because we were just winging it.
“And you had coaches who expected that we knew what we were doing.”
There was this one coach complaining that his player had been punched. “I strongly disliked that coach and still do because he was just being unreasonable.”
Mentorship That Made the Difference
Even Seitz questioned whether she wanted to continue after a challenging indoctrination. The world might have lost out on someone who would become a giant in her profession if not for Ken Burcaw, a kindly senior official in the area. Burcaw happened to encounter this gifted girl as he supervised matches. With positive reinforcement, he helped to replace doubt with possibilities.
“He was an experienced official and he would walk around and talk to people,” she said. “He would give me tips and advice so I had some idea of what to do. That was important because if you don’t know what you’re doing, you don’t want to stay doing it. And he would say, ‘Thanks for coming out. We need you.’
“He didn’t treat you like a child. He treated you like a fellow referee.”
“He didn’t treat you like a child. He treated you like a fellow referee.”
Kari Seitz
Like Wrosch, Burcaw sensed something unique with his prospect.
“I have an ability to read people,” Burcaw said, “and sometimes, you just click with them and you say, ‘They’ve got it together and they’re mature beyond their age.’ They’ve got ‘it,’ whatever ‘it’ is. And she just struck me as one of those young people who really had it together.
“Having two daughters, I know what society is like for daughters and I like building confidence in girls.”
A Crisis at 17 and a Moment of Courage
The seed was truly sown with Seitz once she encountered Burcaw and she progressed as an official slowly but surely into adulthood. At Brighton High School, where she also was an undersized 5-foot-4 goalkeeper and honor student. At Michigan State, where she graduated in 1992 with a degree in advertising.
It was when she was 17 in 1988 when the confidence Burcaw helped instill was shaken. She was working a boys’ under-12 game in the prestigious Wolverine Tournament with the score something like 10-0. When one player was on the verge of scoring another goal, a frustrated defender snapped.
“He just does not want one more goal to go in the net,” Seitz said. “So he jumps on the attacker’s back and pulls his shirt right off. To me, that is a red card and I hadn’t given many red cards out. So I show a red card and the fans start to go crazy. They’re screaming and yelling to the point where I was being threatened — to the point where they had to get a golf cart and drive me off and the game was ended.
“When kids and adults are yelling at you like that, you assume that you screwed up. So I went home assuming that was the end, that I clearly didn’t know what I was doing. And then I got a call later that evening from the director of the tournament and he had a completely different perspective. He said, ‘You showed a lot of courage to give that red card. It was the exact right thing to do. And I want you to come back and do a final match.’
“That obviously changed my outlook completely. That went from the lowest of lows to the wonderful feeling that maybe I could be good at this.”
Most Memorable Matches
Finding Confidence Through Volume and Challenge
During her college years she crystallized definite possibilities as an official, especially when she worked a summer league in Ann Arbor, where she worked eight games a week.
“They were men’s games and they were very challenging,” she said. “That’s when I probably started to think, ‘OK, I know what I’m doing.’”
Chasing the Ultimate Prize: Becoming a FIFA Referee
With that epiphany, Seitz focused her eyes on the ultimate prize — becoming a FIFA referee. Seitz hired a coach and continued making the time for several years after she moved to Chicago in 1992, the same year she married VarnHagen.
“I traveled an hour out of my way in the morning to meet with this guy so he could help me become a real athlete,” she said. “You’re talking about two hours a day, plus your full-time job, plus going home and watching videotape and getting to know teams.”
That was just a fraction of her commitment. Seitz immersed herself in the city’s soccer community at an opportune time, building bridges at a time soccer’s popularity was spiraling.
“Timing was a factor in her rise to prominence because she came upon the soccer scene when the sport was beginning to grow exponentially, especially women’s soccer,” said Mike Oliver, an official and friend of Seitz’s in Chicago. “Kari joined the Chicago USSF and college referee associations, where she was introduced to local leaders in the referee community, like Alfred Kleinaitis, Karl Boeck and Steve Siomos.
“When given the opportunity to demonstrate her proficiency as a young referee, she impressed those key individuals.”
A World Cup Spark That Never Left
She was exposed to the highest level of soccer for the first time when Seitz attended an opening-round game of the 1994 World Cup at Soldier Field in Chicago. To this day, the memory of watching referee Arturo Brizio Carter of Mexico from 15 rows up at midfield is something that captivates Seitz.
“When that referee walked out on the field, I got goose bumps,” she said. “I said, ‘That’s what I’m going to do.’ He almost floated, to be honest with you. He was just in charge of the game. It was so smooth. I remember his hair slicked back and he looked much taller than he was.”
Mentors in Every City
The assessor for the match that day was the late Fernando Alvarez, whom would go on to become a mentor for Seitz when she relocated to San Francisco in 1997. Just as Burcaw was in Brighton and Boeck was in Chicago.
“I had a person in each city I lived who happened to be influential and helped me,” she said. “To find those people, frankly, was my big break. You can’t do this alone. You can be the most amazing person, but you need someone to help you navigate it.”
The First International Match and a High Stakes Red Card
On June 28, 1998, Seitz worked her first international match, a 4-2 victory by Mia Hamm and the U.S. over Germany at Soldier Field in Chicago. Just as Seitz had the guts to issue a red card during that boys’ match as a 17-year-old, she relied on her instincts again with the stakes infinitely higher.
At the 73rd minute, she issued a red card to U.S. Coach Tony DiCicco after he went into a rage when Germany’s Monika Meyer kicked Hamm in the back of the leg and sent her flying.
“Much like that red card (during the youth game in Michigan), I was just thinking about what is right.”
Kari Seitz
“If you watch it on tape, it was barely a foul,” Seitz said. “She flies into the stands and Tony DiCicco starts screaming at me. I was really close to the touchline in front of that bench and it was just over-the-top screaming.
“Much like that red card (during the youth game in Michigan), I was just thinking about what is right. I pointed to the locker room and he was just shocked that he was being sent off. He was trying to show me up — he didn’t know who I was — and nobody sends off the U.S. National coach. Well, I did.
“Ten minutes later, I thought, ‘Oh, what did I just do? What does this mean?’ It turns out as I was walking to the tunnel that he was trying to apologize. He told me that his wife had been watching the game on TV, called him and told him to apologize to me.
“I was pretty sure again that was the end of my career. But, luckily, I survived.”
How Her Peers Remember Her
And then she thrived for so many years. And now that it’s over, just about everyone who witnessed her work can tell stories of a 5-foot-4 official who towered among her peers.
“In the 2007 World Cup at China, she was my fourth official and it was the only match we worked together,” said Dagmar Damkova, a Czech referee. “Frankly speaking, I have never had a better one.
“I had two Africans on the line and Kari and I had to be ready not only to officiate the match but also support the girls on the line because they were stressed and not confident. … Kari knew exactly what to do.”
Sonia Denoncourt, a retired FIFA referee from Canada who is head of women’s referee development for FIFA, saw more than an official in Seitz.
“Everyone could recognize her success on the field, but her success off the field is also remarkable,” Denoncourt said. “She is a true role model to follow. She has always been so dedicated, intense, professional and wanted to be the very best.”
Balance, Gratitude, and a Legacy That Endures
The time has come for Seitz to take a breather. But history strongly suggests it will be a brief one.
“I will be taking some time for myself, but I’m going to find a balance,” she said. “The reason I’m motivated to help others is two-fold. One, others helped me. I wouldn’t be where I am if I didn’t have a mentor.
“The other reason is I feel very, very fortunate for what I’ve been able to accomplish. When I was out there, I was representing the U.S., not just Kari Seitz. People didn’t know who I was.”
They sure do now.
Peter Jackel is an award-winning sportswriter from Racine, Wis
